------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE COMIC BOOK COLLECTOR'S ELECTRONIC MAGAZINE - ALL NEW ISSUE NUMBER 1! ________________________________________________________________________ Our Web Page is now at http://members.aol.com/ComicBkNet BUT NOT FOR LONG! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- o \o/ _ o _| \ / |_ /----\ /|\ | /\ _\o \o | o/ ^ / |R.I.P.| / \ / \ |\ /) | ( \ /o\ / ) o-|-< 0-<-< | | \ -------- SPECIAL PREMIERE BABEWATCH EDITION! ___ __ ,{(~~ ))~~`}), \\// {{' ,, }} \\\\ ////// { ( /_ _\ } \\((\\\\////// }` (') . (') { @-------) // `(____ o____)', @------) ) // __/(_\-/_)\_/ \__/ '' // ~ }~{ _/' /> __)) /___\ (__/'\__ \ ~\ \~ \ '\ / / '\ '\ ` ` This publication is brought to you by the members of the premiere WWW network for the discussion of comics books and the people who create them; The ComicBookSquish!!! Edited by: David LeBlanc [ComicBkNet@aol.com] ------------------------------------------------------------------------- The ComicBook Network was founded by Ed Dukeshire and Mike Imboden The ComicBookSquish is MINE, ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- >>>PLEASE SEE *IMPORTANT* MESSAGE AT THE END OF THE E-MAG<<< ________________________________________________________________________ T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [0] On a Bet .............................. David LeBlanc [99 44/100%] Letters from the Editor......... >MY< page!!!!! [1/2] CBNnsider ............................. Mike Imboden [B] PHOENIX: The TRUE Story ............... The Answer Man [4x4] LOTS o' STUFF.......................... Nate Blowhard [2X4] New Comics Shipping 4/1/96 ........... Wobbly Baller [~] Legion of Super Heroes NOT Clones!..... The Answer Man [Alt] Out of Albania......................... Sparky Griswald [13%] Suspension of Disbelieving Mutants..... Vain Mike [-1] How to join ComicBook Network.......... Like we'd want you to??! [38DD]BBSes Linked into CBN.................. CBN node list [Esc] E-Mag Info: Submissions, Subscriptions, Back Issues, Copyrights WHY are you reading this? You are Supposed to read the important message at the end! ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [1] On a Bet by David LeBlanc Welcome to the NEW, er, the different, er the somewhat the same but at the same time all new ComicBook Collector's Electronic magazine! More about that in a second but first an apology: To John Brookhole, I am sorry I took your web page link off our home page. You have every right to viciously attack any professional you choose in a public forum and I was stupid to think that people would think we love it and endorse it by having a link for you on our page. To show you how wrong I was your's will be the only LINK on our home page for the entire month of APRIL! Starting today 1/1/96 the entire page will be devoted to THE SOOTHSAYER'S WEB PAGE! (and be sure to read the special announcement at the end of this mag) And now, another apology. Last week the CBNsider reported that Jeff Smith was once again moving his hit comic BONE, this time to BROADWAY COMICS. That report was in error. The real story is that he is taking BONE to Broadway, in a new play to open this fall. Sorry for the confusion. Now then, about this mag and the change. I am moving the mag and the Homepage very soon, in fact it may already be there as you read this. I have taken over the Comic Book Net, cuz no one else does any work, and moved all the message bases to a new exciting world wide web service I am calling ComicSquish! You will now be able to join in through your regular Internet acount and even do all you messages offline, just like they do in the BBS networks. But ComicSquish is more than that - I will have online LIVE chats with comic pros, interactive multimedia presentations, and a store where you can buy authentic, authorized ComicSquish(tm) merchandise with the click of a mouse! And the conferences will be all hosted by me, so you know they will be great! I've had a hard time getting my new provider to get his butt in gear so I can publish the new URL, WHICH THEY PROMISED 5 WEEKS AGO! and frankly, AOL is not too keen on me moving our page and has threatened to sue if I don't negotiate with them for the exclusive rights to ComicSquish! I guess they know a good thing when they see it! Anyway, have no fear, subscriber's will still get the same terrific Emag without interruption, although I've had to change the names to protect the guilty, and those CBN guys tried to stop this launch with a rather nasty trojan virus they snuck into one of my QWK packets. But we have prevailed and once the new URL is set I'll let everyone know! David LeBlanc [ComicBkNet@aol.com] Editor The Comic Book Collector's E-Mag >>>>>>>READ THE MESSAGE AT THE END - DIMBULB!<<<<<<< ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [2] Letters from the E-Mag If you want to comment on this or any previous issue, want to offer something for us to publish, or just want to shamelessly suck up to the editor to try and get your name in print send Email to: ComicBkNet@aol.com Note: letters of comment may be used in future issues of the CBN E-Mag unless you specifically request us NOT to use them.(IN WHICH CASE WE WILL DEFINITELY USE THEM!) +++++ From: Mike Zimbawbwey Love the gimmick covers you've had recently! My only question is; What the hell do I put 'em in so they don't get ruined? ;) Dear Mike, This is a critical issue that I am glad you raised. Care must be taken to ensure the future value of those valuable rare issues (you *did* get the *alternate* of #46 right?). We recommend a full VirusScan to begin with using Mcaffee's, Thunderbyte, or BlowMyNose virus detectors. Then put them on a High Density 3.5" floppy, be sure to write protect it and seal it in those clear plastic sleeves. For the most valuable items we recommend the use of archival quality mylar sleeves designed specifically for 3.5" floppies. If you are unable to find them at your local computer supply outlet, you will soon be able to order them through ComicSquish(tm) on the World Wide Web. Thanks for writing. +++++ From: Maxx Pitt How come that Jo Duffy guy stopped writing CATWOMAN? I mean, I like Chuck Dixon, he really rocks on Team 7, but he just does not write the babes the way that Jo does. I mean look at Jo's Image stuff, you'll see! So how about everybody write to DC and get him back on the feline fatale? [Don't quit your day job!] +++++ From: Waniac5 Love your Emag. The best part is that Nate Blowhard guy. Boy he talks just like my best friend. And the fact that he spells naked wrong all the time cracks me up! Tell him I said he is one cool dude! [Sure will, dude] +++++ [TRIVIA CONTEST] Last week's question was a snap: >>Who is Superman? So look at these answers we got: From: KryptoBoy That's easy, Dean Cain! Sheesh what a lame question! [Bite me fanboy] === From: The Brewmeister Isn't he that fat guy that was in The Godfather? You know the one who put orange peels in his mouth and made funny faces? Brandon Marlo or something. I don't read Superman anyway so it is just a guess. [Is this guy for real?] === From: Raving Idiot Who CARES! Superman is an outdated icon of the bourgiuos ruling class. He stands for morals from the stone age which just don't apply these days. You want to read about *realistic* characters that are relevant in this era pick up Too Much Beer Man! Anyone can see that a guy with a head shaped like a beer stine is much more relevant than a bozo who flies around with his underwear on the *outside* and can't even hang on to a dim babe like Lois lane. He's pathetic, I want to kill him and he's too good looking so that kids want to kill themselves because they can never be like him. [Call the asylumn boys, we have another one] === From: SmellyRoomate I agree with that last guy. the end. [Who are these people?] === From: V.K. Fogey Superman is George Reeves. What did I win? [Go back to Nick at Night gramps] === From: Bowser Denny Superman is someone who never really meets up with Catwoman. I mean they once in a while are in the same story in those big mega crossovers but Catwoman usually gets one panel cameos. Don't those Editors at DC realize she is the best female character in the Universe and should get starring roles in all things she appears in! I'll bet Superman would take one look at her and drop Lois like a hot potato(e)! then we could really have a great SuperHero movie, not like that lame Batman Forever by that hack director. I heard that the engagement is off so lets get these two kids together and watch the fur fly - literally! [Sorry, your answer is incorrect] === From: Clueless Superman is Christopher Reeve, but he is in a wheel chair now so I guess he'll have to be Professor X. [You are sick, man] === From: Archival Kid Superman is Kal El! I know because once he went to MXYZPTLK's dimension and the imp tried to get rid of him by making him say NAMREPUS but that did not work because it is not who he really is. When he decided to leave he whispered so no one could hear LE-LAK and came back to our dimension. In case you didn't figure it out, LE-LAK is Kal-El backwords. [I give up, this guy was the closest so he gets the SLEEZY PRIZE(tm) The real answer is CLARK KENT!!! Where have you people been for the last 50 years!] Next Question: How did the Savage Dragon get his powers? IMPORTANT RULES NOTICE: The first correct answer to reach our *official* Email address at: ComicBookSquish@aol.com will win the SLEEZY PRIZE (tm). Guesses sent by return mail to the magazine mailer at Netcom will be copied to the entire mailing list so we can all have a good laugh! ONE PRIZE PER MONTH PER PERSON! ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [3] CBNsider - All the news that fits, we print! This is the CBNsider for the week of March 31st through April 6th. The big news this week is the announcement that Marvel has pulled out of their deal with Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee. Our source, who requested anonymity, stated that "Unfinished Business was a scam all along... It was done to get back at Rob and Jim for leaving Marvel in the first place." An unidentified employee of Liefeld's studios claims Jim and Rob are livid about Marvel's mean-spirited practical joke and intend on evening the score. We'll stay on top of this story and bring the latest news to you as it happens. Adam West has signed on for the role of Batman in the fourth film from Warner Brothers. Critics are already beginning to speculate on the problems revolving around the role of Batman/Bruce Wayne in Warner Brothers' "Batman and Robin"- first it is was Val Kilmer, then George Clooney. Now, apparently, Clooney has had a falling out with director Joel Schumacher following a meeting the two had in New York last week. A friend of West's, who asked to remain anonymous, says the aged actor is ecstatic about being able to step into the cape and cowl of The Batman once again. Rumor has it that West is lobbying to have Burt Ward reinstated as the Boy Wonder. Taking a cue from the comic industry, several food product manufacturers are suddenly signing deals with grocery store chains to be the sole provider of their product. An unidentified spokesman for Sarah Lee had this to say; "We feel that we weren't able to reach the customer before. Our coupons weren't being handled well and it was taking weeks for customers to special order some of our more exotic canned goods like Bacon flavored 'Franks 'n' Beans' and some of our more popular soups. By aligning ourselves with one grocery store we can have a more direct link to the people eating our food." Rumor has it that one of the food manufacturers is looking into buying one of the supermarkets. We'll be staying on top of this hot story and bringing you updates each week. A spokesperson for TOYS R US who asked to remain unidentified, has confirmed a rumor that has been slowly spreading on the Internet; A rare series of Marvel Characters was produced in 1995 and by a fluke, went unadvertised. A twist of fate added to the situation when all of the cases of action figures were inadvertently shipped to a TOYS R US in Alaska. Slowly, the action figures have made their way into the hands of collectors in the continental 48 states. Figures in the set include Rick Jones, Willie Lumpkin, Brother Voodoo, yet another version of Wolverine and a Gwen Stacy Clone figure. Jeff Smith's BONE will cross over with Spawn later this year. The four issue mini-series features the casts of both titles meeting up through a twist of fate. Unnamed sources close to the project say that the best part looks to be the meeting between the Rat Creatures and the Violator, followed closely by Grandma Ben's run-in with Al Simmons himself. The first issue of BONE VERSUS SPAWN goes on sale sometime in October. The big mystery behind the "X-Traitor" in Marvel's X-Men line of titles is over. An unknown source at Marvel leaked the secret late last week after finding a notebook inadvertently left in the Men's Room. So, after much debate, pondering and wondering, we can finally rest easy knowing that the X-Traitor is in fact, none other than ROM: Spaceknight, who will be joining the titles late this year following his revival in a three part mini series. After a half dozen teenagers fell prey to a mysterious illness, the Health Department has stepped in and after a thorough investigation has determined that a dye used to make some of the "fourth inks" used on special "collectable" covers is the culprit. A representative of the Department of Health, who requested we not use his name, has said that the dye can cause severe allergic reactions in people with sensitive skin. A comprehensive listing of the comics containing the "fourth ink" is forthcoming and will be made public within the next week. Unidentified sources close to Neil Gaiman have said that Neil has no plans on completing the seventy-fifth issue of the highly acclaimed SANDMAN series that he created for DC Comics 'Vertigo' imprint after DC suddenly issued a recall of that issue from all comic specialty stores this weekend. Apparently Neil has had second thoughts on ending the series and figures that by simply never doing an issue #75 he can delay the inevitable. Popular writer Mark Waid has signed a deal with DC Comics making him the writer on all of their monthly superhero books. A representative from DC who asked that we not use his name says that Waid figured since he was already writing "a slew" of books he may as well just go ahead and write them all. It seems as if the speculators left our hobby overnight. While most serious comic aficionados are glad to see them gone, one must ask; Where did they go? According to an unnamed source in the world of magazine publishing, "not too far". Apparently yesterday's comic speculators are tomorrow's magazine speculators. "They look for copies of the same magazine with different subscription cards stuck in the pages, and they snap 'em up like hot cakes" we were told. We post the new CBNsider each Monday or Tuesday and it will go out via e-mail each Wednesday or Thursday. The WWW site is still the first place it will appear each week, but we wanted to offer it via e-mail as well. The only way to get ComicBook Net News is to visit a BBS that carries CBN. If your BBS doesn't carry CBN, nag 'em until they do. Happy April First. ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [4] The Answer Man - PHOENIX: The REAL Story! by Bill deHaan The Answer man is always ready to fill in newer fans about past continuity and threads of stories used today that don't make much sense if you haven't read the last ten years of 3 or 4 different books, you know like the X-Men! So when this question hit our mailbox we went straight to Bill deHaan, the Answer Man! JE> I am getting into this Ultraverse Phoenix story and understand that JE> the character has been kicking around the X-Men for a long time. JE> How do I find out more about her? >Go back to X-Men #190 or so, and start from there. You should figure it >out. JE>Thanks.. (hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...) But really I cant afford JE>every issue from 190.... Cant someone summarize it up in a few pages? Heh, heh, heh. Hoo, boy did you ask for it. In early X-Men, Jean Grey become Phoenix. Phoenix become Dark Phoenix. Very, very bad. Eats planet. With people. Burp. Friends of planet that got eat much upset. Try to kill Phoenix. Phoenix gets lobotomy. No more Dark Phoenix. Shooter gets X-Men 137. No more John Byrne. Lobotomy unhappen. Phoenix get killed, instead. Story written about Phoenix daughter before Shooter read #137. Oops. Time to rewrite, much fast. Rachel show up in X-Men 142, look like Jean Grey Mark II. Jean Grey Mark III (Madelyn Prior) show up in X-Men 171. Madelyn and Scott get marry in X-Men 175. Rachel appear in X-Men 190, come from future where Jean not die. Since Jean not Phoenix, power go to Madelyn. Madelyn like her baby, which really not hers, because she not herself, but rather is clone of person who died before, but dead self has unborn daughter from future time running around from before Shooter read X-Men 137. Much confusing. Madelyn try resolve problem by killing everybody and murder son. Madelyn son get kidnap from Jean Grey Mark IV from different future. Son needs to grow up to be Cable. Just so you know. Jean Mark I reappear. Turn out she not die in X-Men 137, she fall asleep way back in X-Men 99. So what was Jean Mark I was really Jean Mark V. Nobody in comic notice. Nobody in Marvel care. Nobody in readership understand. Jean reappear with Scott in X-Factor, but Scott no tell Jean he marry Jean Mark II, because Jean Mark I get mad at him. Meanwhile, Jean Mark III kicking around Excalibur. Averaging one Jean per strip at this point. Writer decide Madelyn has good idea to kill everybody. Blows up world. Makes writing easier. Left with three Jean Greys. Whoops. Scott got some 'splainin to do. Jean I fights Jean III to prevent the Phoenix (Jean IV) from destroy world. Except Phoenix likes Jean II better. Writer keeps forgetting footnotes. Throw Jean I, Jean II, and Jean III in blender. Whirrrrrr. New, improved Jean. More coherent. Three sets of memories. Goes nuts on occassion. Multi-faceted personality. Oh, forget Phoenix still kicking around. Alan Davis much annoyed. Phoenix (Jean V) decide to eat Rachel (Jean II). There. You understand, now? +++++ Bill deHaan is a real person, who lives in Canada and frequents various networks and newsgroups. Thanks for letting us use this item Bill! ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [5] Lots o' Stuff by Nate Blowhard You know what really pisses me off? Staples in the middle of splash pages in the center of a comic! You would think by now they would have come up with a better way to put these things together by now, I mean Jeez Louise! Even Playboy dropped the staple in the navel long ago and went to that perforated centerfold. Mutilating a picture of nekkid wimens is bad enough, but when Wolverine ends up with one stuck in his crotch it makes me cringe, ya know what I mean? Another thing is these stupid creators who think we haven't figured out that they are trying to get us to buy more comics by renumbering stuff at #1 again. I mean I fell for Superman #1 when Byrne took over. and all those Image comics that had mini-series first and then an ongoing series after that! But if Marvel thinks I'm going to spend any money on NEW Issue #1's when they reboot their universe so Robb and Jim can cash in . . .well I don't think so! And when did Captain America get boobs? NEXT: Ultraverse: HUH? ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [6] New Comics Shipping 4/1/96, by Wobbly Baller Abstract Studios: Kadinsky in Paradise #10 Acclaim Comics: Eternal Warrior: Am I for Real? #1 MTG-Zombies Playing Cards #2 Sliders:The White Tower World #1 Archie Comics: Archie #4470 Archies Double Digest #85 Archies Story & Terrorist Digest #35 Betty Does Dallas #37 Cheryl Blossom Festival #4 Hanna-Barberella Presents #4 Street Sharks vs Cyberfrog #1 Big Entertainment: Xander in Lost Universe(cancelled) Isaac Asimov's I-Beams #6 Blackout Comics: Jugular Jokes and Jests #1 Bongo Comics: OJ Simpson's Comics #17 Broadway Comics: Fatale Attraction #2 Powers That Be Shooter's#4 Comic Shop News: CSN #454(available in back alleys only - do not share) Cosmic Comics: Disco High School #2 Marvel Deathrace 2099 #2 Crusade Comics: Shi Senryaku Hava Nagila HC Dark Horse Comics: 3X3 Eyes: 4X4 Truck The Gesu #5 Andrew Vachss Cross' his legs #4 Foot Soldiers of Corn #2 Monkeyman & O'Brien Get Drunk DC/Amalgam Comics: Amazon Bimbo #1 Assassin Bimboes #1 Doctor StrangeBimbo #1 Invisibimbo #19 JLXYZ #1 Legends of the Dark Bimbo #1 Preacher meets Bimbo #13 Sandman Mystery Bimbo #37 Bimbo into the Mystery #4 Super Bimbo #1 Drawn & Quarterly: Crash:semi- almost-Quarterly Comic Book Review Vol1 #3 Peepeeshow #9 El Capitan: Stray Bullets, On Target Grenades #8 Entity Comics: KB3:Kill Barney 3 #1 (why change this one?) Fantagraphics Books: Daddys Girl/Mommy's Lover Love & Sockets 7: Death of Speedy Alka Seltzer Fireman Press: SPAZ:Disposable Assanine #11 Gladstone/Hamilton Comics: Donald Duck & Mickey Mouse: Revenge of Eisner #5 Uncle Scrooge and his Boy Toy #38 Walt Disney Giant Armadillo #5 Harris Comics: Cyberfrog vs Street Sharks #1 Vampirella Gets a Chest Cold #3 High Impact Comics: Double Impact #6 (A, B, & C Editions) Triple Impact #1 (12 variants, 7 interior variants) Image Comics: 21 #2 2 #21 12 #4 4 #12 Whiplash in Miami/Backlash on Vacation #17 Laborforce #20 Gem 13 #8 Glory Avengelyne Chromium/embossed/gatefold/ Paper dolls Grifter meets Beenish #9 Knightstroke(tales from under the blankets) #1 Lethal Liefeld #1 New Farce #1 Rip_off_claw #4 Savage Dragon: Force to be Reckoned With(letters to PAD) Spawn #19 Spawn #20 Spawn #47 Pocketwatch #33 Supreme Stupidity #35 Team 7 III Dead in the Water #2 Onion #9 Mildcats #26 Kitchen Sink Press: Greased Monkey Brains #1 Oink: Heavens Butcher #2 Lightening Comics: Black Santa, Purple Easter Bunny #1 Marvel/Amalgam Comics: Spider-Boy #1 Amalgam Comics Poster Spider & Bracelets #1 Bruce Wayne:Agent of S.P.I.D.E.R. #1 Spider & The Clone Men #1 Spider Demon #1 Spider-Patrol #1 Disney Comic HATS #7 Conan The Spider #9 Gargoyles #15 (Where are 12-14?) Saban's MMPR:Ninja Spiders/VR Spiders #5 Beavis & Algore #26 Doctor Who, What, Where #236 Nightmare of Perelmans #4 Handbook of The Spiderverse #2 Rune vs Herby #1 Ultraforce meets Lulu #5 Maximum Comic Press: Avengelyne Deadly Costumes #1 NGNG Studios: Rana 7 Froglike Things #2 Patchwork Press: bOZo Squad #10 Planet Lucy Press: Fragmop #5 Sirius Entertainment: Damn #3 Poison Shelves #1 (2nd Printing) Slave Labor Graphics: Bleating Hearts #2 Milk & Cheese thirty third Number One Murder can be Fun #1 Topps Comics: Return to Jurassic Farts #9 X-Directories #13 X-CD ROMS #15 X-Hard Drives #2 Viz Communications: Adolf:Exile in Buchannan Land Animalerica Vol.4 #2 Battle Angel Alita Pt. 6 #1 Ranma 1/2:Pt. 5 #3 %6 $# ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [7] The Answer Man - Legion of Super Heroes are NOT Clones! This is a real treat. The Answer Man, Bill deHaan, agreed to give DC equal time and explain one of their convoluted continuity dilemnas! With ZERO HOUR, the Legion of Super Heroes, in fact the entire future DC Universe was re-booted. They decided to retell all the tales of the LSH but put new twists, sometimes new endings to them. Prior to that event, things had really gotten hairy. The Legion was much older than the present books show them, and another set of Legionnaires (a much younger set called the SW6 batch was discovered making things even more confusing. At first they were thought to be clones of the originals but were explained to be chronal-temporal duplicates. HUH? That is what one reader asked as well, and we'll let the Answer Man take it from there . . . CW>I've got a question. Although I read the issue in question where it CW>was determined they were not clones but chronal-temporal duplicates, I CW>just want to know one thing: what the heck is a chronal-temporal CW>duplicate?? Are we going to have to go through this *again*? Long time ago, Superboy make Legion. Crisis unmake Superboy, but not unmake Legion. Hmm. Now Time Trapper make Legion. But Legion unmake Time Trapper. So now since no Time Trapper, no Legion. So Legion that not tries to stop Mordru that is (because Time Trapper that not would prevent Mordru, had existed at the time), by having Glorith use dead Legionnaire (who now alive) to stop Mordru. So Mordru unmade, Time Trapper remade, Legionnaire dead again. Aiee. But Time Trapper get unmade (again) by Mon-El, which unmake Mon-El. So now Glorith unmake Time Trapper. But since Legion come from Superboy who is not, Legion cannot. But is. So Glorith unmake Mon-El, and make Valor, so that Legion is make from Valor. All clear now? Hokay. Now when Mordru unmade and Time Trapper unmade, Legion unmade, so Dominator make move. Legion remade, but now Dominator have Earth, and Mordru have *other* planet. So now DC read X-Men #137 and realize to clear mess need another Legion. Dominator bring out cloning vat (bubble, bubble, toil, trouble) and make SW6 homegrown Legion. But new Legion is Legion that was, before Time Trapper unmade and Mordru remade. Maybe. But now got two Valors, but only one needed to create Legion, so new one thrown back to beginning to undo second one, when second one start to do in past what originally he did in future before Superboy that was stopped being. Whee. Meanwhile, everyone so busy scratching head over this, nobody notice that Mordru busy making undead Legion conga line to take over universe. Why Mordru *want* universe no one know, when he had it, all he do is bitch about it. Mordru want to *control* universe; typical tyrant. His ex-wife be Glorith, though, and not want hubby to be happy; typical ex-wife. Glorith not want to destroy universe; want to take home in shopping bag. Big shopping bag. So go back to time when Mon-el was Valor to make Valor make Legion; but Valor need push. So Glorith push. Push Valor too hard, Valor break. Legion come to help Valor. But if Valor dead, no Legion can be, so how can Legion help Valor not die if Valor die and unmake Legion so they no help? Take back old Valor, throw in blender. Whirrrr. So now got Legion, two Valor (dead, alive, one of each), and Glorith that not be Glorith in past before Legion be. So Legion not be, so the Legion that be, not be Legion; instead is "chronal-temporal duplicate". Of course, if Glorith know that Legion not be, then Glorith make Legion, so need make change so that change that unmake change not be made, etc, etc, etc.... you know the drill. ++++ Bill deHaan is a real person living in Canada (if you call that living) and we thank him for letting us use this piece. ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [8] Out of Albania by Sparky Griswald Regular readers of my column will recall...(I always wanted to write that) my frequent genius meanderings on how comics have lost their carefree abandon, or their near dream like qualities. Well it seems I'm not the only one, I found a bunch of people with more time on their hands than me and are so pissed off they act like the 4 Horsemen on a rampage! I finally persuaded (threatened with physical violence actually) my BBS Sysops to import "News:Wreck.Art.Comics.Dc.universe" & "Wreck.Arts.Comics. Marvel.Universe" into our local BBS forums, and I've been downloading the 2000 odd (to say the least) messages generated per day per newsgroup. After giving up on trying to figure out if these people have actual lives, I realized I had been sucked in to a cyber passion equalled only by one's craving for twinkies at the wee hours of the morning. So whats happening in these two news groups? Well DC vs Marvel and ALgathingy were the topics of the day with so many duplicate posts on each group, one wonders why they have two to begin with. I followed the commentry on the event so far and laughed at the threats of death of first born children by some who will not believe that the other babe in ASSASSINS is a Daredevil Deathstoke Amalgam. I mean it's only a comic folks, the writers are having a little fun - get a life! Next on the agenda is the Marvel eXecution, verbose commentary and passionate calls for people to either save cancelled titles or declare Bob Harras as the Anti-Christ and burn X-Men collections in protest. Spiderman fans are also very active, highly confused, but very active, which seems unchanged since I first started reading Marvel comics in the Sixties. I never understood the fascination with the character and now I guess he may or may not be the original guy, and the other Spider-Guy is likewise the real mcCoy, or not, and the found a body which may or may not, well you get the picture (hmm... maybe the Answer Man can figure this one out??) Next is the very serious issue of Captain America's Tits, 90% of the posters supporting a Waid written title over the anticipated Liefield production. This is a bit confusing to me, when did Captain America get tits??? (oh, Answer Man ?. . . ) DC newsgroup is a little different, here Flash\Impulse readers try to dominate the entire discussion with equal amount of time given to the Legion of Super Heroes (at least THEY are not clones!) One time I counted no less than 85 messages all on the subject of wether or not a certain participant was a racist or had been posting racist messages or had the whole thing been faked by the main accuser. HUH??? What the hell has that got to do with comics???? This internet stuff is supposed to be the greatest thing since sliced bread and a large part of it is a bunch of immature idiots who can't resist trying to impress the entire world with their lack of communication skills, and good manners while spouting off some of the filthiest garbage... Well, you get the idea. X-Men? Well X-stuff's got it's own newsgroup, as does Vertigo, but the stupidity of the above two gave me little hope for anything better. Maybe this one marked Wrecked.arts.comics.MISC. is worth checking out? NEXT: The speculative market: Why the Albanian Secret Police are secretly buying all available copies of YOUNGBLOOD #1!!! someday one of you guys will rescue me from this mess: Figment@Epcot.Disney.com Sparkey Griswald lives in Wally World, which he claims is really southern Albania. We humor him and let him type these notes once in a while or else he would keep us awake all night. ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [9] Suspension of Disbelieving Mutants by Vain Mike I don't believe it! ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [A] How to join the COMIC BOOK NETWORK <-- HA! Who'd want to? [Editor's note: this item is being run under protest until COMICBOOK SQUISH is up and running. If you actually *want* to join this insignificant speck in the scheme of things, you guys deserve each other] You too can enjoy the intelligent conversations and informative threads of most any BBS network, but instead why not try the Comic Book Net! Many people who read this e-mag aren't familiar with the Local BBS echo-mail system.... Tough cookies bub! You must be some kind of lamer if you got this far and haven't figured out how to dial up a BBS! Did you get that computer for Christmas and haven't figured out how to call anywhere but the Plug and Play $ervice that came with it like Prod-a-gee, or AOswell? Maybe you'd rather spend $4 an hour in some "Chat Room" trying for some long distance romance than talk about something important like COMIC BOOKS - for FREE! Bulletin Board Systems are scattered everywhere across the continent and the world, many of them are free! Chances are, if you have a modem you have the accompanying communications software. Chances are it is sitting on your hard drive collecting cyberdust because you might have to read the friggin' manual to figure out how to use it! So if you ever manage to *try* the software that came with your modem, you can dial up one of the many systems linked into CBN (see the listings down a few paragraphs). Most of the boards offer all the message echoes in the Comic Book Network. . . There are message bases devoted to all the bigger comics publishers, as well as big Small Press and Independent message bases, not to mention sections for general (doesn't even have to be about comics!- though we discourage conversations about gardening and other pansy junk) conversation. We even have what we call the FANBOY conference where we get to rip into anybody we want and nobody cares! You should see the bloodbath when the fanboys go after the sandboys - not a pretty sight! If you are worried about long distance charges, worry no longer! Just rip off the old man's credit card. he probably never even reads the bill, just sends a check in every month! Most, if not all the BBS's offer a mail service from which you can downloada .QWK packet of recent e-mail to read offline with a program called an offline mail reader. You can read & write messages at your leisure, and then upload your own messages & replies the next time you call your local BBS. There are many .QWK packet readers out there, for every type of computer system. They all give you a better explanation in their documentation than I can. IN FACT, I don't even know why I am telling you about them since there is a snowball's chance in hell you'll even put the effort to find any of this stuff! These programs are available all over the Internet and are free to download from most BBS's. I recommend SLMR or OLX-TD for DOS to get started, because I can't picture any of you guys being able to figure out how to install anything that doesn't come with the computer and have a pretty icon on the screen for you to click on. I am ROTFLMAO just thinking about you geeks trying to figure out how to even FIND the DOS prompt! So what else can you find on free BBS systems? There are plenty of files for specific types of computers. Some systems also offer other types of message networks ranging from general topics to specific themes like sci-fi, role playing, games, music, etc. And, let's not forget online games. Join into the many different multiplayer games, each system sports different challenges. There's nothing like becoming the most powerful being in a online adventure! Great, I just unleashed a whole new generation of nerds onto the unsuspecting BBS world because nerds are the only people who think its *cool* to stay up all night trying to kill pixels on a screen, or answer trivia or one of those other stupid online games. On second thought, its YOU GUYS that tie up the phone lines to the BBS so I can't get my QWK packets when I want them. Forget about all this stuff, it's too complicated for you. Go back to your COMPUSTUD account and download our Emag from the files. We don't need you messing up our private little world. Get a life! [READ THE %#$&()# MESSAGE AT THE END OF THE MAG YOU MAGGOTS!] ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [B] BBSes Linked into CBN (all kidding aside) Here's the most up-to-date node listing for the COMIC BOOK NETWORK F=FIDO Q=QWK B=Both *=Major HUB -- ARKANSAS ------------------------------------------------------------- F* Karate & Comics & ... Russelville AR 501-968-3910 Robert Wood Conway PC Users Conway AR 501-329-7227 Tim Stone -- CALIFORNIA ----------------------------------------------------------- Q Freedom Flight Victorville CA 619-955-6445 Ronald Siodla Electronic RPO Newbury Park CA 805-498-8061 Kelly Cruise -- FLORIDA -------------------------------------------------------------- F Never Never Land Melbourne FL 407-253-8754 Wayne Bell Steel Dog Cafe Destin FL 904-654-1631 Keith Schultz Ghost's Realm Crestview FL 904-689-6664 Kie Dorton -- ILLINOIS ------------------------------------------------------------- F The Chess Board Grand Prairie TX 214-641-1136 Ken Givens -- INDIANA -------------------------------------------------------------- F The CyberSpace BBS Indianapolis IN 317-856-9020 Charlie Smith -- KENTUCKY ------------------------------------------------------------- Lex Corp Georgetown KY 502-867-0992 -- MARYLAND ------------------------------------------------------------- F The Vampyre Bar! Frederick MD 301-698-5194 Darryl Pierce F DataStorm Kettering MD 301-390-5243 Tarek Gordan F Bifrost Mount Rainier MD 301-779-9381 Kevin Carlin F Womens World East BBS Silver Spring MD 301-431-0647 Wendy Dumser F Sherata's Realm Mechanicsville MD 301-884-9732 Linda Peek -- MASSACHUSETTS -------------------------------------------------------- F Archives BBS Acushnet MA 508-995-0085 John Viera F Muskrat & Heatwave New Bedford MA 508-984-5321 Dennis Racine B* Keystone BBS Shrewsbury MA 508-753-3767 John Harris F HellFire BBS S. Dartmouth MA 508-979-8930 Brock Cordeiro B Call Again Soon Worcester MA 508-791-1281 Joe Johnson -- MICHIGAN ------------------------------------------------------------- F Intl. Comic Network Dearborn Hgts MI 313-565-8464 Anthony Palacio -- MISSOURI ------------------------------------------------------------- F The Oan Citadel Grandview MO 816-767-1488 Brian J. Stewart -- NEW HAMPSHIRE -------------------------------------------------------- Venom's World Rollinsford, NH 603-743-4188 Ira Locke -- NEW JERSEY ----------------------------------------------------------- Phoenix Modernz Systems Seaside Hts. NJ 908-830-8265 -- NEW YORK ------------------------------------------------------------- Asgard TW BBS West Islip NY 516-422-4225 Tom Pemberton Interzone BBS Long Is. City NY 718-786-5557 Jim Garvin F Starbase : Red Dwarf Saugerties NY 914-247-9601 John Dragun -- NORTH CAROLINA ------------------------------------------------------- F Electronic Hangover Durham NC 919-286-4542 Richard Lee F Psychotronic Durham NC 919-286-7738 Richard Lee F* TI-Raliegh Maximus Raliegh NC 919-833-3412 Walter Tietjen F Crystal Winds Raliegh NC 919-790-3599 Mike Gurkin F Federal Post Spring Lake NC 910-436-2055 Frank Koza -- OKLAHOMA ------------------------------------------------------------- Compumate Tulsa OK 918-628-0887 Danny Pelletier F Snart's Dreamland Collinsville OK 918-371-0980 Jeff Bennett F The Dreaming World Broken Arrow OK 918-451-3056 Greg Adkins -- PENNSYLVANIA --------------------------------------------------------- F Comic Book Board Philadelphia PA 215-365-5225 William Horton -- TENNESSEE ------------------------------------------------------------ The Factory BBS Union City TN 901-885-9647 -- TEXAS ---------------------------------------------------------------- F Razor's Domain ][ Edinburg TX 210-631-5159 Kevin Nunn Q Way Out There Dallas TX 214-680-2755 Justin Pasher F The Chess Board Grand Prairie TX 214-641-1136 Ken Givens B* FIAWOL/MSConnections Irving TX 214-790-6472 Bobb Waller F Star Streams Waxahachie TX 214-938-7115 Michael Rudolf -- VIRGINIA ------------------------------------------------------------- B Crystal Aerie Arlington VA 703-415-0134 Spencer Greenwald -- WASHINGTON ----------------------------------------------------------- -- ONTARIO, CANADA ------------------------------------------------------ F Dark Knight BBS London ONT 519-850-9929 Michael Cross F MACH 1 BBS London ONT 519-457-6771 Tomasz Heiber Stargate:Above & BeyondLondon ONT 519-472-4938 Paul Nicholas -- MEXICO --------------------------------------------------------------- B* The Gate BBS Mexico City 52-5-264-2994 Emilio Karam - From USA, dial international-access 011 then 52-5-264-2994# ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [C] E-Mag Info The Comic Book Net E-Mag is published by the many participants of The Comic Book Network. This is a compilation of articles and columns which were originally posted in the network's conferences or written specifically for this electronic magazine. Some articles are independent of any connection with CBN and are used with permission. All text contained within is copyrighted to the originating author(s). Opinions expressed in this publication are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Editor, the Network Administration Team or the members and users of The Comic Book Network. Except where elsewhere noted, The Comic Book Network Electronic Magazine is Copyright 1996 by the Comic Book Network. You may freely distribute or duplicate this file intact without alteration for noncommercial purposes only. Please do not distribute except as the complete file as originally transmitted by The Comic Book Network. THE CBN WEB PAGE ---------------- If you have access to the World Wide Web, please stop by and visit our web page! On our web page, you can find the latest issue of our E-Mag, as well as an annotated index and all back issues. You'll also find important information on how to join the conversation in the Comic Book Net, and other neat features like newly release comic book graphics, links to lists of Comic Book Company addresses, Comic Professionals Email addresses, and other Comic Book related Web pages! The URL address is: http://members.aol.com/ComicBkNet LOCATING THE ISSUES ------------------- The latest issue is always available from all the systems linked into The Comic Book Network. You can also find the back issues at America Online, by going to Keyword: Science Fiction, scrolling to the menu item _Comic Book Forum_ and then going to the _Comics Library_ from there. Most issues should also be available on Compuserve, Genie, Channel1 BBS and Software Creations BBS as well as other non CBN affiliated Bulletin Board Systems. All back issues should be available at the above sites, as well as our World Wide Web page. SUBMISSIONS ----------- To submit an article, review, column, etc to our e-mag, simply post it in any Comic Book Net conference and leave me a message in the CBN: E-Mag conference giving me permission to use the article. If you cannot access the Comic Book Net, submit your articles for consideration to the editor at: ComicBkNet@aol.com Reviews of mainstream books are least likely to get included when submitted from sources outside of CBN. We give more consideration to reviews of indies and self published material as we feel that material deserves more exposure to the general public. Commentary on the state of the industry, and personal observations and reflections related to comics are *most* likely to be included in our publication. We also accept product for review purposes. Advanced copies of comic books will not be returned but anything sent to us will be reviewed in the ComicBook Net Emag. Send all material to: David L. LeBlanc 84 Heather Circle Jefferson, MA 01522 SUBSCRIPTIONS ------------- If you wish to receive these issues automatically through your internet account, please address a message to ComicBkNet@aol.com to be placed on the subscription list. ________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - End of another Issue (special thanks to MMike Imboden & Bill deHaan) .. see ya in the funny papers!! AAAA PPPPP RRRRR IIIIII LL AA AA PP PP RR RR II LL AAAAAA PPPPP RRRRR II LL AA AA PP RR RR II LL \|/ ____ \|/ AA AA PP RR RR IIIIII LLLLLL @~/ oO \~@ /_< \__/ >_\ FFFFFF OOOOOO OOOOOO LL !!!!!! \__U_/ FF OO OO OO OO LL !!!!!! FFFF OO OO OO OO LL !!!!!! FF OO OO OO OO LL FF OOOOOO OOOOOO LLLLLL !!!!!! If Batman retires, . . .make Bill deHaan Batman!